Love is a powerful force, but the desire to love someone is only the beginning of a relationship. As Christian youths, it’s important to realize that a relationship is more than just feelings—it's about how your attitudes align with each other’s life assignments. The question isn't just, "Do I love this person?" but also, "Is my attitude toxic to their calling? And is their attitude toxic to mine?"
Every one of us has a divine purpose, a unique calling from God that shapes who we are and what we do. When you enter into a relationship, you’re not just merging two lives; you’re bringing together two distinct callings. This can be beautiful when the attitudes of both people support each other's life assignments, but it can become challenging if there are toxic elements that hinder your divine purposes.
Take a moment to reflect on your own attitude. Are there aspects of your behavior that could be harmful to the other person’s calling? For example, do you struggle with jealousy or insecurity that might prevent them from fully pursuing their God-given mission? Maybe their calling requires them to spend time serving others, traveling, or dedicating hours to ministry work. If you find yourself resenting the time they spend away from you, that attitude could become toxic to their assignment. Your role should be one of support and encouragement, not of creating obstacles.
Now, consider the reverse. Does this person’s attitude threaten your life assignment? Perhaps they don't understand the importance of your calling, or they subtly discourage you from pursuing it because it doesn't align with their desires. Maybe they’re unsupportive of the time you need to invest in your ministry, studies, or spiritual growth. Even if their intentions are good, an attitude that undermines your purpose can be toxic and damaging.
It's crucial to recognize that love isn't just about being together; it’s about whether your attitudes and behaviors are helping each other grow in your respective callings. A relationship should be a place where both people can flourish in their God-given purposes, not a battlefield where one person's mission is stifled by the other's toxic attitudes.
So how do you address this? Start with honest self-reflection and open communication. Are you willing to adjust your attitude to better support their life assignment? And are they willing to do the same for you? This isn’t about perfection but about being committed to growing together in a way that honors God’s plans for both of you.
If you find that there are toxic elements in either of your attitudes, it’s important to address them before they cause harm. Seek God’s guidance, pray together, and be willing to make changes. A healthy relationship requires humility and a willingness to put the other person's calling above your own comfort or desires.
Remember, the desire to love is only the beginning. True love seeks to nurture, support, and uplift the other person’s life assignment, just as you hope they will do for yours. If you both commit to fostering attitudes that are life-giving and supportive of each other’s divine purposes, your relationship can be a powerful force for good, one that not only fulfills your hearts but also glorifies God.
Are you ready to examine your attitudes honestly? To ask God to help you remove any toxic elements that could hinder your relationship and your respective callings? This is the kind of love that endures, the kind that builds up rather than tears down, and the kind that reflects God’s love for both of you.
Hope Expression celebrates you.
Prince Victor Matthew
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