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Before and After He Asks You Out: A Word to Christian Youth About Relationships


In the journey of seeking a life partner, prayer is a powerful tool, but it’s not the only one. Many of us have spent countless hours on our knees, asking God to bring the right person into our lives. We pray for a godly man, someone who shares our faith, values, and vision for the future. But while we’re faithfully praying, are we also preparing? 

Consider this: if you choose not to be accessible and accommodating, then maybe it’s time to stop praying for a life partner. I know that sounds harsh, but hear me out.

Before He Asks You Out

Before a man ever approaches you with intentions of pursuing a relationship, what does your life look like? Are you someone who is approachable, warm, and open? Or have you built walls so high that no one could possibly scale them? 

Being a woman of faith doesn’t mean you should be unapproachable. Yes, it’s crucial to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23), but guarding your heart is different from hiding it. God wants us to be wise, not withdrawn. He wants us to be discerning, not distant. 

Imagine Ruth in the Bible. After losing her husband, she didn’t withdraw from the world. She went out to glean in the fields, making herself visible and available, and God led her to Boaz (Ruth 2). Ruth wasn’t sitting in her room, waiting for a miracle. She was active, living her life, and in that context, Boaz noticed her.

After He Asks You Out

Now, what happens after a man expresses interest in you? Do you suddenly become hard to reach, emotionally unavailable, or excessively guarded? While it’s important to maintain standards and not rush into anything, remember that relationships require effort, communication, and a willingness to be vulnerable.

Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly." The same principle applies to relationships. If you’re constantly unavailable, never responding to calls or texts, or always too busy to spend time with someone, what message are you sending? It’s one thing to be busy with God’s work, but it’s another to use that as an excuse to avoid engaging with someone who might be God’s answer to your prayers.

God calls us to be lights in the world (Matthew 5:14-16). How can your light shine if you’ve hidden it away, refusing to let anyone close enough to see it? 

Praying vs. Preparing

If you’re serious about finding a godly partner, prayer must be coupled with preparation. Just like faith without works is dead (James 2:26), prayer without action is often unfruitful. God may very well bring a godly man into your life, but if you’re not prepared—if you’ve chosen to remain inaccessible—then you might miss out on what He has for you.

Being accessible doesn’t mean lowering your standards or compromising your values. It means being open to the possibility that God might answer your prayers in ways you don’t expect. It means being willing to engage, to get to know someone, and to let them get to know you. It means living your life in a way that invites others to see Christ in you, rather than hiding behind a wall of fear or insecurity.

Dear sister in Christ, if you’re praying for a life partner, ask yourself if you’re also preparing your heart to be open and accessible. God can bring someone into your life, but it’s up to you to be ready to receive them. Don’t let fear, past hurt, or a desire for perfection keep you from experiencing the fullness of God’s plan for your life. Remember, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). But also remember that delighting in the Lord includes being obedient to His call to love, to be kind, and to be open to the people He brings into your life.

So, before and after a man asks you out, make sure you’re not only praying but also preparing. Be accessible, be accommodating, and trust that God’s timing is perfect. If you do, you’ll be in the right position to receive the blessing you’ve been praying for.

Hope Expression celebrates you. 

Prince Victor Matthew 

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