Laughter is a beautiful gift from God. It brings joy, lightens the mood, and strengthens bonds in relationships. However, not all humor is created equal. While sharing jokes with your partner can be a way to connect and enjoy each other's company, there’s a fine line between playful teasing and harmful words. As Christian youth, it's important to recognize the dangers of expensive jokes in dating and understand why any joke that doesn’t honor your partner is toxic and needs to stop.
Understanding Expensive Jokes
Expensive jokes are those that come at a cost—often at the expense of another person’s feelings, dignity, or self-worth. They may seem harmless at first, but they can slowly erode trust, respect, and love in a relationship. These jokes might target a person’s appearance, intelligence, habits, or even past mistakes. While you might think you’re just being funny, the impact of these jokes can be deeply damaging.
Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Words have the power to build up or tear down, to give life or cause harm. When you use humor in a way that disrespects or belittles your partner, you’re not only harming their heart, but also damaging the foundation of your relationship.
The Disadvantage of Expensive Jokes
1. Erosion of Trust: Trust is one of the most vital components of any relationship. When you make jokes that hurt or embarrass your partner, even if unintentionally, you chip away at the trust they have in you. Your partner may start to feel insecure, wondering if you truly respect and care for them. Over time, this can create a rift that’s hard to mend.
2. Loss of Respect: A relationship thrives on mutual respect. Jokes that dishonor your partner undermine that respect, making them feel devalued. Ephesians 4:29 instructs us, "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Your words should always aim to build up, not tear down. When you use humor to belittle your partner, you’re not showing the love and respect that God calls us to.
3. Emotional Wounds: What might seem like a harmless joke to you could be deeply hurtful to your partner. Words can create lasting emotional wounds that don’t easily heal. Proverbs 12:18 says, "There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health." Instead of using your words like a sword, use them to promote healing, encouragement, and love.
4. Undermining Your Witness: As Christians, our relationships are meant to reflect Christ’s love to the world. When you engage in humor that dishonors your partner, it undermines your witness as a follower of Christ. Your relationship should be a testament to the love, grace, and respect that Christ shows to the church (Ephesians 5:25). Toxic jokes have no place in a relationship that aims to glorify God.
Stop Toxic Jokes: A Call to Honor Your Partner
If you find yourself using humor that doesn’t honor your partner, it’s time to stop. No joke is worth the pain and damage it can cause in your relationship. Instead, commit to using your words to uplift, encourage, and affirm your partner. Be intentional about creating an environment of love and respect, where both of you feel valued and cherished.
James 1:26 warns, "If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless." Bridling your tongue means being mindful of the words you speak, ensuring that they align with the love and respect you have for your partner.
Here’s how you can make a change:
- Pause and Reflect: Before making a joke, ask yourself if it honors your partner. Will it build them up or tear them down? If there’s any doubt, it’s better to stay silent.
- Apologize and Make Amends: If you’ve already hurt your partner with your words, be quick to apologize. Acknowledge the pain you’ve caused and commit to doing better. Healing can only begin when you take responsibility for your actions.
- Cultivate Positive Humor: Laughter should be a source of joy in your relationship, not pain. Focus on humor that brings you closer together, that celebrates your love and the unique bond you share.
- Pray for Wisdom: Ask God to give you the wisdom to use your words in a way that reflects His love. Proverbs 15:4 says, "A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit." Let your words be a source of life and encouragement to your partner.
Dear young believer, your relationship is a gift from God, and it deserves to be nurtured with love, respect, and kindness. The words you speak have the power to shape your relationship for better or worse. Don’t let expensive jokes create cracks in the foundation of what God is building in your life. Instead, commit to honoring your partner with your words, ensuring that every joke, every comment, and every conversation reflects the love of Christ.
Remember, "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones" (Proverbs 16:24). Let your words be sweet, healing, and life-giving, building a relationship that glorifies God and strengthens your bond with each other.
Hope Expression celebrates you.
Prince Victor Matthew
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