So, you’ve said yes to a dating relationship. It’s an exciting time filled with possibilities and new beginnings. But before you get swept away by the emotions, there’s something crucial you need to do: take the time to truly get to know him. Understanding his thinking patterns, decision-making process, and overall character is key to determining if you can build a healthy, God-honoring relationship together.
Why Knowing Him Deeply Matters
In the early stages of a relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of being with someone new. However, it's important to remember that this is also a time for careful observation and thoughtful consideration. Proverbs 4:23 warns us, "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." Guarding your heart means being intentional about who you allow into your life and how deeply you invest in them.
Getting to know him beyond surface-level interactions is essential because it reveals whether you’re truly compatible. You’re looking for more than just shared interests or physical attraction; you’re looking for a partner whose values, beliefs, and decision-making align with yours. This alignment is crucial for long-term success and harmony in the relationship.
Understanding His Thinking Patterns
The way a person thinks shapes their actions, decisions, and interactions with others. Pay attention to how he processes information, solves problems, and approaches challenges. Does he think critically and seek wisdom, or does he make impulsive decisions without considering the consequences? James 1:5 tells us, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." A man who seeks wisdom and guidance in his thinking is likely to make better, more thoughtful decisions.
Observe how he responds to different situations. Does he rely on God’s Word to guide his thoughts, or is he more influenced by the world’s standards? Romans 12:2 reminds us, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." A man with a transformed mind will approach life with a godly perspective, prioritizing what truly matters.
Evaluating His Decision-Making Process
The decisions a man makes are a reflection of his values, priorities, and maturity. Take note of how he makes decisions, especially in important areas like finances, career, relationships, and faith. Is he someone who seeks God’s direction through prayer and scripture, or does he make decisions based solely on his desires or emotions?
Proverbs 3:5-6 offers guidance for decision-making: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." A man who trusts in the Lord and seeks His guidance in decision-making is someone who is likely to lead with wisdom and integrity.
Also, consider how he handles responsibility. Does he take ownership of his decisions and the outcomes, or does he blame others when things don’t go as planned? A responsible man will demonstrate accountability, humility, and a willingness to grow from his experiences.
Can You Cooperate With Him?
Once you’ve spent time observing his thinking patterns and decision-making process, the next step is to evaluate whether you can see yourself cooperating with him in a long-term relationship. This involves more than just agreeing on surface-level issues; it’s about aligning your lives in a way that promotes unity, growth, and mutual respect.
Amos 3:3 asks, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" Unity in a relationship doesn’t mean you’ll always see eye to eye, but it does mean that you share core values and a common vision for the future. If his thinking and decisions reflect a commitment to God, integrity, and love, then you’re likely on the right track. However, if you find that his values, decisions, or thought processes conflict with yours, it’s important to address these differences early on.
Cooperation in a relationship also means being willing to submit to each other out of love and respect. Ephesians 5:21 advises, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." If you see that he respects your opinions, values your input, and is willing to work together in making decisions, it’s a good sign that you can cooperate and build a strong partnership.
Practical Steps to Getting to Know Him
- Spend Quality Time Together: Engage in meaningful conversations that go beyond small talk. Ask open-ended questions that allow you to understand his thoughts, values, and beliefs.
- Observe Him in Different Settings: See how he interacts with others, especially in challenging situations. Does he treat people with kindness and respect, or does he change depending on who he’s with?
- Discuss Important Topics: Talk about your faith, goals, and dreams for the future. Discuss how you each view marriage, family, and life’s challenges. Understanding where he stands on these issues will give you insight into his character and priorities.
- Seek God’s Guidance: Pray for discernment as you get to know him. Ask God to reveal anything that might not be immediately obvious and to give you wisdom in making decisions about the relationship. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Dear young believer, saying yes to a relationship is just the beginning. The real journey starts with getting to know the man you’ve chosen to date. By paying attention to his thinking patterns and decision-making process, you’ll gain valuable insight into whether you can truly cooperate with him in a way that honors God and strengthens your relationship.
Remember, the goal is to build a relationship that reflects God’s love, wisdom, and grace. Don’t rush the process—take the time to observe, pray, and seek God’s guidance every step of the way. A relationship built on a solid foundation of understanding, mutual respect, and shared values is one that will stand the test of time and glorify God in the process.
As you move forward, keep Proverbs 24:3-4 in mind: "Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches." May your relationship be built with wisdom, understanding, and the knowledge of God’s will, leading to a future filled with His blessings in Jesus Name.
Hope Expression celebrates you.
Prince Victor Matthew
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