Love is a powerful force, but the desire to love someone is only the beginning of a relationship. As Christian youths, it’s important to realize that a relationship is more than just feelings—it's about how your attitudes align with each other’s life assignments. The question isn't just, "Do I love this person?" but also, "Is my attitude toxic to their calling? And is their attitude toxic to mine?" Every one of us has a divine purpose, a unique calling from God that shapes who we are and what we do. When you enter into a relationship, you’re not just merging two lives; you’re bringing together two distinct callings. This can be beautiful when the attitudes of both people support each other's life assignments, but it can become challenging if there are toxic elements that hinder your divine purposes. Take a moment to reflect on your own attitude. Are there aspects of your behavior that could be harmful to the other person’s calling? For exampl...

Love is a powerful emotion, often celebrated as the cornerstone of meaningful relationships. Yet, the desire to love alone isn't enough to build a lasting connection, especially when you're considering someone with a divine purpose. As Christian youths, it's important to recognize that love isn't just about feelings; it's about partnership, cooperation, and alignment with the other person's life assignment. When you're drawn to someone, it's natural to feel an urge to express love, to share your heart, and to embark on a journey together. However, before you commit, ask yourself: Are you willing to cooperate with this person's priorities, values, and the needs that come with their God-given purpose? In any relationship, understanding the other person's life assignment is crucial. Every individual has a unique calling—a specific role in the Kingdom of God that shapes their choices, actions, and even their daily routines. If you’re seri...

Love is something that most of us long for, but the desire to love someone isn’t enough to build a strong and lasting relationship. True love requires more than just feelings—it demands action, commitment, and a willingness to pay the price of listening and respecting the person you care about. When you think about love, what comes to mind? Maybe it’s the warmth of companionship, the excitement of being with someone who understands you, or the joy of shared experiences. While these are beautiful aspects of love, they don’t capture the full picture. Love isn’t just about how someone makes you feel; it’s about how you choose to treat them, especially in moments when it’s not easy. Listening and respecting your partner are fundamental to a healthy relationship. It’s easy to say that you love someone, but are you ready to truly listen to them? Are you prepared to hear their thoughts, feelings, and needs—even when they differ from your own? Listening goes beyond just hearing wor...

Love is a beautiful and powerful force, but it’s also something that can be misunderstood if we don’t approach it with the right foundation. One of the most important truths to grasp, especially in relationships, is that you cannot love anyone beyond the quality of knowledge you have about their purpose and life assignment.  When we think about love, we often focus on feelings, chemistry, and attraction. While these are significant, they don’t sustain a relationship in the long run. True love requires a deep understanding of the other person—who they are at their core, what drives them, and what God has called them to do with their life. Without this understanding, your love may be based on superficial things that can change over time. Purpose and life assignment are at the heart of who a person is. God has given each of us a unique calling, a specific role to play in His grand design. When you’re in a relationship, it’s essential to understand and respect your partner’...

When it comes to dating and marriage, many of us often focus on the external—who we are attracted to, who shares our interests, or who we get along with. While these things are important, there's something far more foundational that we often overlook: self-discovery and the understanding of your calling. Before you can truly recognize who is a good match for you, you need to understand yourself. Who has God called you to be? What purpose has He placed in your heart? Your identity in Christ is the cornerstone of your life. Without a clear understanding of who you are in Him, it’s easy to be swayed by emotions, appearances, or social pressures. But when you know your calling, you begin to see your relationships through a different lens. Your calling is more than just a career or a passion—it's the divine purpose that God has for your life. This calling influences every decision you make, including who you choose to date and marry. When you are clear on what God has ca...

So, you’ve said yes to a dating relationship. It’s an exciting time filled with possibilities and new beginnings. But before you get swept away by the emotions, there’s something crucial you need to do: take the time to truly get to know him. Understanding his thinking patterns, decision-making process, and overall character is key to determining if you can build a healthy, God-honoring relationship together. Why Knowing Him Deeply Matters In the early stages of a relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of being with someone new. However, it's important to remember that this is also a time for careful observation and thoughtful consideration. Proverbs 4:23 warns us, "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." Guarding your heart means being intentional about who you allow into your life and how deeply you invest in them. Getting to know him beyond surface-level interactions is essential because it reveals w...

Entering into a dating relationship is a significant step that should never be taken lightly. As Christian youth, it’s essential to approach relationships with clarity, purpose, and wisdom. One of the most important steps you can take before committing to a relationship is to define what it means to you and to the person you're considering. This means understanding the other person’s intentions, values, and goals. When a man asks you out, two things are typically involved: he’s either looking for a physical relationship or he’s genuinely interested in building a future with you. Knowing the difference is crucial for safeguarding your heart and honoring God in your relationships. Why Defining a Relationship is Essential Defining a relationship isn’t just about putting a label on it; it’s about setting the foundation for what you both hope to achieve together. Without clarity, relationships can become confusing, hurtful, and even destructive. Proverbs 4:7 reminds us, ...

Laughter is a beautiful gift from God. It brings joy, lightens the mood, and strengthens bonds in relationships. However, not all humor is created equal. While sharing jokes with your partner can be a way to connect and enjoy each other's company, there’s a fine line between playful teasing and harmful words. As Christian youth, it's important to recognize the dangers of expensive jokes in dating and understand why any joke that doesn’t honor your partner is toxic and needs to stop. Understanding Expensive Jokes Expensive jokes are those that come at a cost—often at the expense of another person’s feelings, dignity, or self-worth. They may seem harmless at first, but they can slowly erode trust, respect, and love in a relationship. These jokes might target a person’s appearance, intelligence, habits, or even past mistakes. While you might think you’re just being funny, the impact of these jokes can be deeply damaging. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, "Death and life ...

Before stepping into a dating relationship, it’s important to recognize that successful relationships require intentionality and planning. As Christians, our relationships should reflect our faith and commitment to God’s will. To build a relationship that honors God and leads to a strong, healthy marriage, there are three key plans every man or woman should have in place: a plan for yourself, a plan for your life partner, and a plan for your relationship or marital journey. Plan for Yourself Before you can successfully enter into a relationship, it’s crucial to have a plan for yourself. This plan involves understanding who you are in Christ, what your purpose is, and how you’re growing spiritually and personally.  Your identity in Christ is the foundation upon which everything else is built. Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Knowing your worth ...

When it comes to relationships, every step should be intentional, guided by wisdom, and rooted in faith. As Christian youth, it's important to understand that the journey toward marriage involves different stages, each with its own purpose and significance. Let’s explore these three stages: “Can we be friends?”, “Can we date?”, and “Will you marry me?” Each stage builds on the other, creating a foundation for a Christ-centered relationship. Stage 1: Can We Be Friends? Friendship is the foundation of any meaningful relationship. Before diving into a romantic relationship, it’s essential to first build a solid friendship. When someone asks, “Can we be friends?”, it’s an invitation to get to know each other on a deeper level without the pressure of romance.  During this stage, focus on understanding each other’s values, interests, and faith. Proverbs 17:17 reminds us that "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." True friendship involves...

In the journey of seeking a life partner, prayer is a powerful tool, but it’s not the only one. Many of us have spent countless hours on our knees, asking God to bring the right person into our lives. We pray for a godly man, someone who shares our faith, values, and vision for the future. But while we’re faithfully praying, are we also preparing?  Consider this: if you choose not to be accessible and accommodating, then maybe it’s time to stop praying for a life partner. I know that sounds harsh, but hear me out. Before He Asks You Out Before a man ever approaches you with intentions of pursuing a relationship, what does your life look like? Are you someone who is approachable, warm, and open? Or have you built walls so high that no one could possibly scale them?  Being a woman of faith doesn’t mean you should be unapproachable. Yes, it’s crucial to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23), but guarding your heart is different from hiding it. God wants us to be wise, not ...

Dear sister in Christ, entering into a dating relationship is a significant step that requires careful consideration, prayer, and readiness. One of the most important aspects of being ready for a relationship is your ability to create time for the person interested in pursuing you. If you find yourself too busy to be friendly or to carve out time to get to know this man, it might be a sign that you’re not yet ready for a dating relationship. As Christian women, we often juggle many responsibilities—work, ministry, family, personal growth, and more. These are all important and should be prioritized. However, relationships also require intentional time and effort. A dating relationship is not something to be taken lightly; it’s a journey that could potentially lead to marriage, and therefore, it deserves the time and attention it needs to grow. Creating Space for Connection A relationship cannot thrive without connection, and connection requires time. The Bible tells us in Ec...

Dear Sisters, as you navigate the dating landscape within our Christian faith, it's important to remember the value of humility and respect when a man expresses interest in you. His effort to pursue you is a significant gesture and should be met with appreciation rather than as an opportunity to boost your own self-esteem. It can be tempting to view a man’s interest as a reflection of your own worth or to use his pursuit as a means to elevate your sense of self. However, it’s essential to remember that you are not superior to him simply because he is interested in dating you. Each person in the dating process deserves respect and kindness, and this includes honoring the intentions and efforts of those who come into your life. When a man asks you out or expresses his interest, approach his efforts with genuine appreciation rather than as a moment for self-validation. His pursuit is a reflection of his own feelings and intentions, and it should be acknowledged with the sa...

Dear Sisters, as you navigate the path of dating within the Christian faith, it’s essential to approach each interaction with an open heart, especially when a man expresses interest in a dating relationship. One crucial aspect to consider is avoiding the temptation to use your own strength or judgment to find faults in him. It’s natural to have expectations and standards, and discernment is an important part of evaluating a potential partner. However, it’s equally important to approach these situations with grace rather than an inclination to scrutinize and find faults.  Sometimes, the desire to ensure compatibility can lead us to focus more on identifying imperfections than on understanding the person’s heart and intentions. While it’s wise to be thoughtful and discerning, using your own strength to find faults can create an environment of judgment rather than one of understanding and growth. Instead of approaching dating with a critical mindset, try to view each inter...

Dear Sisters, as you navigate the world of dating, it’s crucial to remember that the standards you set for a potential partner should reflect the qualities you embody yourself. When a man expresses interest in you, it's a meaningful opportunity to reflect on whether you are living up to the expectations you have for him.  It’s natural to have specific qualities and values in mind when considering a partner—qualities such as faithfulness, integrity, kindness, and respect. These standards are important and should be non-negotiable. However, it’s equally vital to ask yourself: Am I embodying these same qualities in my own life? For example, if you expect a man to be grounded in faith, are you actively living out your own faith journey with dedication and sincerity? If you value honesty and respect, are these values evident in how you conduct your relationships and interactions? Becoming the person you seek in a partner is not only about meeting these standards yourself but...

Dear Sisters, in our journey as Christian singles, we often encounter various forms of advice and opinions when a man expresses interest in us. Friends and social media might offer their perspectives on how to handle such situations, but as followers of Christ, our ultimate guide should be the Holy Spirit.  When a man approaches you with the intention of dating, it’s natural to seek advice from those around you. Friends and social media platforms can be valuable resources, but they should not replace the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit, who dwells within us, is our direct connection to God’s wisdom and understanding.  Before seeking external opinions, spend time in prayer, asking the Holy Spirit for guidance. Your relationship with God is deeply personal, and He knows your heart and the desires He has placed within it. The Holy Spirit can provide clarity and peace, helping you discern whether this man’s intentions align with your values and God's plan ...

Dear Sisters, as you navigate the journey of dating within a Christian context, it’s essential to remember the value of respect and politeness when a man expresses interest in you. Whether he's asking you out on a date or simply seeking to get to know you better, your response can set the tone for both the interaction and your personal witness. Respect and politeness are fundamental aspects of how we interact with others, reflecting Christ’s love and grace in our daily lives. When a man approaches you, showing him respect and courtesy—regardless of your decision—is a testament to your character and your faith. If you find yourself considering whether or not to accept his invitation, begin by acknowledging his courage and the respect he’s shown you by expressing his feelings. Even if you decide not to pursue a relationship, responding with kindness and appreciation is crucial. A simple, respectful acknowledgment of his interest can go a long way. You might say something ...

Dear Sisters, in the journey of Christian dating, where faith and discernment guide our steps, there's a profound aspect to consider when a man expresses interest in you—whether he’s asking you out or merely seeking to know you better. It is crucial to extend him the courtesy of your listening ears. Let’s explore why this simple act of respect can be both enlightening and foundational in your dating experiences. When a man approaches you with the intent of starting a relationship, your initial response might be influenced by various factors—your past experiences, your current life stage, and even your preconceived notions about dating. Yet, one principle remains constant: giving him the opportunity to share his heart is both respectful and discerning. Listening attentively allows you to grasp his true intentions. It’s not just about hearing the words he says but understanding the heart and purpose behind them. Does he speak with genuine respect and kindness? Is he artic...

Lust is an intense and often overwhelming desire, usually directed toward something that brings physical pleasure, especially in a sexual context. Lust, however, is different from love or genuine affection—it’s a craving that is often selfish and focused on immediate gratification. The Bible warns against lust in passages like Matthew 5:28, where Jesus says, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Lust doesn’t consider the well-being of the other person; it’s driven by a strong desire to satisfy one's own cravings without regard for the spiritual or emotional consequences. Sexual intercourse is the physical act of sex, which, within the context of marriage, is seen as a gift from God. Genesis 2:24 speaks of this union: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This act is meant to be an expression of love, intimacy,...

Relationship is a tool and platform for maintaining, sustaining and deploying of dreams or purpose. Relationship is a tool and platform for learning, discovering and development your capacity, potentials, ideas and dream. Relationship is a tool and platform for participating in adding value to others and in receiving value from others. Being single is not a curse but an opportunity to discover your self and explore your dream. Being single is a season. There is a time to be single and there is a time for dating. Don't pursue your dream to the extreme and abandon the need for dating. Dating is a necessity and a pleasure. If you can't cultivate a healthy life as a single, dating will frustrate you. Be single and be productive. Be single and be result oriented. Be single and develop your capacity. Be single and understand your direction in life. Be single and Specific about your reason for existence. You are unique and you must dare to be different. Learn to stay where God has ord...

Cheating in a relationship isn't limited to just the physical or sexual acts that we often associate with it. It's also about the emotional connections and the time, attention, and privileges that you share with someone who isn't your partner. When you start giving the same level of care, affection, and emotional investment to someone else that should be reserved for your lover, you're stepping into the territory of emotional cheating. This type of cheating can be just as damaging, if not more so, because it erodes the foundation of trust and intimacy that your relationship is built on. Imagine how your partner would feel knowing that the special moments, the deep conversations, or the simple acts of care that are supposed to be just between the two of you are being shared with someone else. It’s like giving away a piece of your heart that doesn’t belong to anyone else. You might think it's harmless—just a friendly chat, just a bit of extra attention—but these small...