James
1:13
Let
no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God; for God cannot be tempted
with evil, neither tempteth he any man.
James
1:14
But
every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
From the scriptures
above, you will understand that every temptation comes to you according to the
nature of your own desires (lust). Its not the devils fault neither is it God’s
fault – you are the greatest enemy of your own self and even when the devil
wants to manipulates you in any way, he will only come to you via the very
thoughts, desires or lust of your own heart. That is to say, there are
principles to follow, so your rise or fall is predictable. You must be
responsible for your self.
James
1:15
Then
when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished,
bringeth forth death.
At this point, you need
to understand that having sexual urge is not the issue. The thought of having
sex flying through your mind is not the issue here. The issue is dwelling on
the thoughts. What you do with the thought that flies through your mind is what
will determine you strength or fall.
Whenever the sexual
urge comes up, don’t fight it, or deny its existence. Accept the feeling,
acknowledge its presence. Admit this feeling is part of your self. Admit the
fact that God created you with the urge. Acknowledge the value of necessity and
timing. Tell your self, according to God’s plan, what I feel is good and I’m
designed by God to have these feelings BUT GOD CREATED IT ME TO EXPRESS THESE
FEELINGS ONLY WHEN I GET MARRIED. By so doing, you don’t dwell on the thought
rather you focus your mind on other important things you need to do. (Idleness is a great trap). At this
point it’s also wise for you not to depend on your own understanding… allow the
Holy Spirit to help; ask him for help. Submit to his leadership.
God designed you to
govern this feeling and set it understand control through His spirit in you and
through Gods word. When you allow your sexual urge to dictate for you – you
will experience death. Death in the area of your talent, creativity and you won’t
be able to focus on your dream and calling… most importantly, you will disobey
God and sin against your own body (great
insult in deed).
SEXUAL
ATTRACTION
At this, I want to
explain something that has been hidden for ages – Sexual Attraction. Sexual attraction is not a sin but a platform
that gives you clarity of who you are and the understanding of who God wired
you to respond sexually. Our God is a God of specification and pattern – He
created you with all things programmed to function in a specific way. So when
you fail to understand the pattern set, you will be frustrated.
Sexual attraction is a
signal that helps you to know how you were programmed by God to function.
Sexual attraction flows sight and sound that is appealing to your sexual urge
or interest. Every man and every lady have their individuality in how they were
designed to respond to their sexual interest. All men are not the same – what
triggers one man’s sexual interest might be a turn off to another man’s sexual
interest (that goes to every lady also). Every one is unique and every one has
different ways of responding to their sexual interest. It’s part of who you are
and it’s the reality of how God designed you to function. You are not meant to
fight it or deny it or feel guilty of it.
Read this carefully, if
you have taken a good observation at your self (either as a man or as a lady)
you will discover there are specific things you see on the opposite gender that
triggers your sexual urge or interest. This reaction is natural and normal (not
a sin). To some people, it’s the complexion, or height, hairy skin, straight
legs, curved legs, small breast, medium or big size, round shoulders, broad
chest, and any other physical figures you see on a man or lady. Whatsoever that
triggers you among the above list, I want you to know that the devil is not at
work. It is the manifestation of how God created you. These things or figure on
any of the gender are meant to draw your attention to ‘self discovery or
awareness.’
Most couples in
marriage lives in regrets today because they ignored this signals and ended up
with some one who do not posses what triggers their sexual interest. This is
part of the reasons you found some people become unfaithful to their martial
vows. If you know who you are emotional, you will definitely know what to
settle for. For more details on this – I want you to watch out for my next
seminar. The theme will be “Who is
boiling my water? It will help you to understand the principle God attached
to you and attraction.
Once you notice what
triggers your sexual interest, it’s your responsibility to manage it and
acknowledge them because sexual satisfaction in marriage will solely depend on
them.
SEX
BEFORE MARRIAGE
Don’t hate your self
and be free from this guilt by accepting your self. These are the generations
that will openly acknowledge and declare – I
love sex but I’m not a slave to it. In fact, God created you to like it and
love it but God hates it when you can’t manage and govern your sexual urge. God
do not hate the idea of sexual fulfillment, God only hates you having sex
before marriage. The reason why God hates you having sex before marriage is
because of your own safety. God hates the side effect you will suffer due to
sex before marriage. Sex is a beautiful thing but the time frame of when to
have it is what determines you fulfilling or faulting God’s intention for
inventing sex.
I want to explain to
you the side effect of sex before marriage. In the emotional world – we have
rules. Your first kiss and your first experience of sex will create your perception
of romance and sex. If your experience was harsh and disrespectful, your
mindset will be conformed into a wrong self believe which will lead to low self
esteem. Your first experience will set the tempo of what you will expect and
accept sexual experience. Your sexual urge is elastic and your experience can
deform it. If your experience was abusive or respectful, when you get married –
if your spouse sexual strength and skill or exposure is below your past sexual
experiences, it will affect you and create un-satisfaction. If your spouse
sexual strength and skill or exposure is above your past experiences, it will
affect you and be a stress to you. All these is because once your sexual urge
gets feed in a certain way or rage, it’s fixed and it will accept that
frequency as the norm. Anything above or below it become an issue. You will
begin to have memories to deal with (the
memory of your best experience with your ex in the past) and before you
know it, your sexual interest with your spouse begins to die and that will
result to misunderstanding and divorce.
If you are presently in
a relationship, not yet married and you feel you can have sex, there is side
effect to it. By the time you have explore yourself, when you get married, the
excitement and adventure wont be there any more because you have wasted it
before you got married. Instead of all these stress, God wants you to abstain
from sex even thou you are no longer a virgin. The abstinence will help your
emotions and sexual urge stabilize through the help of the Holy Spirit.
Abstinence from sex is for your own good. You are not doing any body a favour
and God is still God even if you have sex or not. Save your self from the
mental stress your past memory will created in you when you are married.
Embrace the idea of
sex, love it, value it, and govern your sexual urge till you get married. This
will do you a great deal. Abiding with this, you will learn from wisdom but if
you choose to be disobedient, you will learn in a hard and painful way. I place
before these two option, choose for your self this BUT I want to ‘suggest’
abstinence of sex till you get married. This is the will of God for your life.
May the Holy Spirit help you to govern the sexual urge in your life in Jesus Name
Jesus loves you so much
To be continued...
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