Have you ever heard of a mental trap? Well, believe it or not, they exist. Seemingly innocent thought processes with some majorly dangerous power. They enter into our minds when we’re weak, tired, angry, hungry, sick, or feeling alone. They creep their way into our thinking, and start wreaking havoc on the way we view and feel about ourselves and our lives. Patterns of negative thinking that lead to nothing but frustration and pain.
At
the risk of sounding “holier than thou”, let me start off by saying that even
as a Professional Counselor, at some point in my life, I have uttered every one
of the below phrases. Over the past years, I’ve learned a lot about the power
of my mind, and being careful the things I think about. It’s true that our
thoughts have so much power over our feelings and behaviors…and in turn, the
things that play out in our lives. So,
if you’re single and feeling frustrated, here are a few mental traps to avoid:
This
mental trap is dangerous because it shifts the spotlight from God’s bigger
picture to you. It’s a seemingly innocent question that makes you start to
doubt who you are and who God has made you to be. Soon enough, you find
yourself struggling with your personality, body image, spiritual life, and
feeling like you don’t measure up. Being single doesn’t mean anything is wrong
with you- it simply means that there is a bigger picture unfolding in your
life. It’s important to use this time to become healthy and whole, but never at
the expense of degrading yourself
- Am I going
to be single forever?
I
heard a statistic once that over 90% of the population will get married. I
don’t know if that’s accurate or not, but it’s funny how much comfort that
truth brings to some people. But true or not, this question is a mental trap
because it causes you to dwell on the worst-case scenario of your future,
rather than tuning into all the good that is happening in your life here and
now. God is bigger than statistics, and knows exactly what you need. I’ve
interacted with people who have learned that God’s best plan for their lives
was always better than their best plan, no matter what that plan entailed. So
turn this worry into a prayer because He knows what you need, and trust God
with your tomorrow.
- Why does
everyone else have someone to love?
This
mental trap is dangerous in that it magnifies the good in other lives, and
minimizes the good in our own. Even beyond “relationship status”, we can wind
up doing this with so many things in life: looking at the good all around us-
but failing to see the good inside of us. God calls you to look up, at what He
is doing in your life, and to look around at all He has given you. Don’t allow
your thinking to fall into these extremes of seeing what everyone else
seemingly has…because your perspective of their lives is not the full truth.
- Is God
punishing me?
It’s
easy to wonder if God has something against you when you’re struggling with a
particular stage of life. But this mental trap is so dangerous because it
challenges the very characteristic of God: Goodness. No matter how we
feel or what is going on in our lives, we need to hold on to the truth that God
is good, that He is for us, and that His plans for our lives are
better than we could expect or imagine. Nothing is truer than
that. God doesn’t “punish” His children in wrath, but protects them, shepherds
them, and leads them in love. Rather than allowing these lies and worries to spoil
our perspective of God, we need to focus on who He actually is and remember His
great promises to take care of us.
I truly believe that so much of how we live comes
down to what we think. May God begin to challenge, heal,
and transform your minds and increase the quality of your lives today in Jesus
Name Amen.
Jesus
loves you.
Be
Inspired!
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