No one will ever say “I’m out to date a player.” In fact, that’s pretty much the LAST thing anyone would ever say or wish for in a relationship.
But far too many young ladies and men are saying
they want a healthy relationship with their words, but doing just about
everything possible to attract the wrong kind of person. And actions always speak far louder than words.
Human
beings are like magnets, and we send out certain vibes by the way we act,
speak, and behave that draw the right (or totally wrong) kind of person to our
side. I interact with many young men and ladies that are doing everything
wrong, yet completely dumbfounded as to why they aren’t landing a healthy relationship.
So if
you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a “less than desirable” relationship (to
say the least), here are some things you were probably doing:
Doing
Everything in the Relationship
Do
you want to attract the wrong kind of person? Then go ahead and DO everything
yourself. Be the one to always call, make plans, & pursue communication.
Initiate as much as you can and give, give, give whether or not you get
anything back. Do all the work for your partner, and they’ll be sure to stick
around (though not necessarily because they’re into you). As a “bonus”, it will
also guarantee that you’ll be stuck in a one-sided relationship.
Make
Excuses
What
do you do after you’ve given everything you can and received little to nothing
in return? Step 2: Make excuses. Tell yourself that he was just busy last week,
or that she just has too much on her plate. Remind yourself of that one time
when he said those sweet words, or she made that little bit of effort. It will
make you feel better, and it will make you stick around longer in a bad
relationship instead of realizing that you
deserve better.
Give Your Goods
Sexual
intimacy is like the Novocain of relationships. It numbs you to what’s
really going on around you by giving you a sense of false intimacy, closeness,
and relationship with someone who may or may not actually be invested in you.
If you really want to attract a player, give him/her your goods. They won’t say
no. In fact, they will ask for more, and more, and more. Not only will they
spend you physically, but they will also spend you emotionally because in the
end, they will give nothing back in return. Empty promises, Broken commitments,
and Half-hearted truths.
Give
2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances
It’s
a wonder that some people let these things happen to them one time, but the
bottom line is: you live, you learn. What really amazes me is that some people
not only let themselves get taken by a player completely undeserving of their
time MORE than once. And many times, the same player comes right back around.
If you want to keep a player by your side, keep giving more chances. Try again.
Hope for the best. Give trust before it’s been earned. You’ll be sure to get
your heart broken one…more…time.
Keep
Believing He/She Will Change
Oftentimes,
emotions trump reason when we’re desperately in search of love and acceptance.
We truly convince ourselves that this time around, things will be different. We
erase the record and start from scratch, rather than waiting for evidence of
genuine change, growth, and healing. But as we sit in waiting, expecting change
in someone we CAN’T actually control, our own lives (which we CAN control) pass
us by. Opportunities are missed, talents are wasted, and dreams disappear into
thin air. Relationships that could have been…never come to be, because we’re
holding on to the wrong ones, rather than letting go and opening our heart to
the right ones.
If you’ve been known to attract a
player or two…maybe it’s time to reevaluate and make some changes. Maybe it’s time to take inventory
of how your actions and behaviors have given the wrong kind of people
permission to enter into your life. Maybe it’s time to close that door, start from scratch,
and remember that you deserve so much better than this.
Be led by the spirit of God.
Jesus Loves You.
Be Inspired!
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