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Understanding The Male Gender


It was fun getting all the feedback from the last post called, “Understanding the Female Gender”.


Here are some insights ladies need to know about men:


-         Men can only do one thing at a time.


Because many ladies are multi-taskers, they often expect the men in their life to be wired the same way.


-         Men appreciate the little things.


It may not be in the form of a flower or date night, but the small things really do matter. It could be as meaningful as an affirming word, as creative as cooking his favorite meal, or as simple as seeing a clean basket of his folded laundry. At their core, many men are simple creatures, and appreciate the small things more than any lady would ever imagine.


-         Don’t mistake Men’s kindness for weakness.


We’ve all heard of those ladies who are attracted to the “bad guys”. Our culture paints the picture of excitement and fun in relationships with these seemingly “tough guys”. It’s a mystery that puzzles many, but from my perspective as a Counselor, an attraction to the bad guys is ALWAYS rooted in emotional dysfunction.  What needs to be realized among our culture at large is that there is immeasurable strength and courage in a man with a kind heart. Compassion, kindness, and tenderness are signs of nothing but true masculinity, and it is these kinds of “boring men” that make the most amazing husbands, the ones that love, give, and sacrifice to the very last breath.


-         Men care less about looks than you think.


Have you ever heard the saying, “Ladies dress for other ladies”? Well, I think in many ways, it’s true. From what I’ve heard from countless men, men see ladies as most beautiful in the most natural form of themselves. They don’t need the accompaniments, sparkles and scents. And they definitely don’t care about the bags, the shoes, or the nails. At the end of the day, a real man is not looking for the most beautiful lady in the world, but for the one who will make his world most beautiful.


-         The worst thing you can do to Men is putting them down.


Criticism is a man’s worst nightmare. Deep down, all men are like little boys, trying to please the primary lady in their life. For adult married men, that primary lady is their bride. They want to please her, and they hold their head up high as she looks into their eyes with a look of approval and delight. The one thing that can snuff out their joy in a moment’s is to put them down. To notice the things they are not doing, the things they are not saying, and the things they are not completing, instead of notice all of the good things that they are. May ladies be quick to remember this, but even quicker to be filled with grace, encouragement, and love to the men God has placed in their lives.


-         Men think a lady’s most attractive quality, is her confidence.


There is nothing more attractive to a man than a lady who can hold her head up high, believing the good things about who God has made her to be. Because a lady of confidence is aware that her value is rooted in nothing else but who she is in Christ, there is no need to flirt around or flaunt her stuff. Though most men will tell you it’s important to be attracted to their significant other, the truth is, attraction always runs deep. And the thing about confidence is that a lady will never truly believe that a man thinks’ she’s beautiful, until she actually believes it for herself. True confidence can not be replaced.


-         Men want to be your friend and your lover.


Just as much as ladies don’t want to play “mommy” to their man, a man doesn’t want to be treated like a child. Some of the most troubled relationship/marriages I see are when this parent-child dynamic begins to be played out in the relationship. Men want to be loved by feeling respected, and treated that way. They want to know that you are by their side not to take care of them, but to share life with them. Most men are looking for a lady to laugh with, to play with, and to enjoy life with. They are looking for a best friend to marry, and a loyal partner to love for life. Once the parent-child dynamic starts to seep into the relationship, things will always change for the worse. So give your man some credit, and treat him like the equal partner you expect him to be


I’m so thankful for the different ways God has made men and ladies. I truly believe God was so deliberate when he formed and fashioned us together- because in each gender, we see a little more of Him. We need each other, both man and lady, to reflect the fullness of a magnificent God – and even then, we only get a glimpse of who He really is.


May we continue to reflect Him in our interactions with one another as man and lady, as friends, and teammate, in Jesus Name, Amen.


May the Holy Spirit grant you the wisdom to handle, relate and communicate effectively with men in Jesus Name, Amen.


Jesus Loves You.


Be Inspired!

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