Skip to main content

Dealing With Their Tone

When you are dating someone, pay attention not only to what they say but also to how they speak to you. Tone often reveals what words are trying to hide. A person may say, “I love you,” while consistently speaking to you with contempt, sarcasm, intimidation, or unnecessary aggression. Healthy love does not require you to become comfortable with disrespect. Before you commit your future to someone, learn to observe how they communicate when they are happy, angry, disappointed, corrected, or challenged.

The way someone speaks during disagreement matters because marriage will not eliminate conflict. Dating is an opportunity to discover whether two people can communicate through differences without destroying one another emotionally. You should not have to constantly calculate your words because you are afraid of how the person will react. You should not call verbal aggression “their personality” simply because you are emotionally attached. Scripture says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). This does not mean you should tolerate manipulation or abuse. It means healthy communication should be pursued by both people.

Ask yourself honestly: How does this person speak to me when they do not get what they want? Can we disagree without insults? Can they correct me without humiliating me? Can I express my feelings without being mocked? If their tone consistently makes you feel small, frightened, worthless, or controlled, do not ignore what you are experiencing simply because you are hoping they will change after marriage. Marriage does not automatically heal unhealthy communication patterns.

You also need to examine your own tone. Healthy relationships are not built by one person demanding respect while speaking disrespectfully. If both people are committed to purpose, they must learn to communicate in a way that protects dignity, truth, peace, and progress. Your relationship should help both of you become better stewards of your calling, not create an environment where one person is constantly recovering from the other's words.

Do not settle for a relationship where disrespect has become the price of companionship. Love does not require you to accommodate abuse, and patience does not mean surrendering your boundaries. A relationship aligned with God's purpose should create room for correction, growth, accountability, friendship, and mutual honor. Before asking, “Do they love me?” also ask, “Can we build a life together without destroying each other's emotional and spiritual wellbeing?”

Hope Expression Values You 
Apostle Prince Victor Matthew 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

HOW TO UNDERSTAND SEXUAL VALUES

Sexual value in a relationship is the discipline and purity you uphold concerning your body and desires. What is sexual value? It is the standard you place on how you honor God with your sexuality. Why is this important? Because sex is not just a physical act; it is a spiritual covenant designed for marriage. Who should care about sexual values? Both singles and those dating, because disregarding God’s design in this area can leave scars, regrets, and unnecessary baggage. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 reminds us, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality.” How do you build sexual value? By setting boundaries, avoiding compromising environments, and renewing your mind with God’s Word. When do you start? Now, not when you are engaged or married, because self-control is practiced long before the wedding day. Where does this apply? In how you relate with the opposite sex, the conversations you entertain, the media you consume, and the spaces you allow y...
Post a Comment
Read more

HEALING BEFORE DATING

Before you enter a relationship, you must be honest about the condition of your heart. Many singles desire love while carrying wounds they have never confronted. Childhood rejection, abandonment, betrayal, harsh words, broken family experiences, unhealthy relationships and repeated disappointments can shape the way you see yourself and interpret the actions of others. Sometimes what you call love is actually a desire to escape loneliness, insecurity or emotional pain. Yet Scripture reminds you that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Healing must become part of your preparation for healthy love. Unresolved wounds can affect how you communicate, trust, receive affection and respond to conflict. You may become overly suspicious because someone betrayed you before, excessively controlling because you fear abandonment, emotionally distant because vulnerability once hurt you, or desperate for constant reassurance because rejection d...
Post a Comment
Read more

Waiting vs. Walking in God’s Timing

Desiring marriage can make singles impatient, tempting them to settle or force relationships. But God’s timing is perfect, and His plans are higher than ours. Scripture declares, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14). Walking in patience allows God to orchestrate the right union that honors Him fully. Waiting is not passive; it is a period of preparation, prayer, and personal growth. Singles are called to strengthen their character, deepen their intimacy with Jesus, and clarify their purpose. This ensures that when the right partner comes, the relationship will serve God’s kingdom and not just personal desire. Rushing leads to compromises and mismatches, but intentional waiting produces alignment, covenant readiness, and a union that glorifies Jesus. Trusting God’s timing allows His wisdom to guide your choices, protecting your heart and your future marriage. When you wait on God and walk in His timing, you become a vessel rea...
Post a Comment
Read more