I want to address the men first. As a man, you need to understand that your choice is your authority. Who you choose becomes your responsibility. Choosing is not the problem but how you choose matters. It is important that you feel that attraction but beyond that there are things you must put in consideration. First you must choose who you need. This is very important because there is a place where attraction will fade and reality will set in. At that junction, your needs in life and in what God has committed into your hands will kick in. Your needs are the quality of attitude, mindsets and manner of approach that will protect your mental health and also make the deploying of your assignment easier. Lack of the right knowledge of your need that has foresight and not just the moment will highly set you up in choosing a lady that you don't need and a lady that is not aligned to your journey in destiny. This will lead me to the second step. Choose who you can plan with, pray with and ...

Attraction can make you notice someone, but discernment helps you understand whether that person is truly right for you. As a single person or someone dating, ask yourself what you are actually choosing. Are you choosing character, spiritual maturity, values, responsibility and purpose, or are you choosing how someone makes you feel? Proverbs 31:30 reminds us that beauty is not enough. What matters before God is the condition of the heart and reverence for Him. Learn to look beyond what attracts your eyes and pay attention to what reveals a person's character. How do you choose with wisdom? Slow down and observe. Watch how the person communicates when they are angry, how they treat people who cannot benefit them, how they handle responsibility, how they respond to correction and whether their private life agrees with their public confession of faith. You are not called to approach relationships with suspicion, but you are called to exercise discernment. Do not allow chemistry to si...

Beloved of God, the greatest asset I have discovered any adult or single must cultivate is self responsibility. If you can't be useful to yourself, thats on you. If you can't offer your self the chance to learn and fix what's going wrong with you, no body should be blamed for that. Lack of self responsibility is when you blame everyone for the the things that are failing in your life but you will never hold your self accountable for any of them. You see that posture, that's immaturity at it's highest peak. If you have low self esteem, get help. If you have anger issues, learn emotional intelligence. Whatsoever that is missing or broken in your life, it's your full responsibility to seek for help and even submit to Jesus to help you. No body is meant to compensate you for all the wrongs your ex lover did to you. No body should be blamed for the consequences of your bad decision, disrespectful attitude and aggressive manner of approach. Stop blaming your past, sto...

Beloved of God, sometimes, the problem in a relationship is not that you are asking for too much, but that you are expecting the wrong person to provide what only God can give you. As a single person or someone already in love, it is important to understand what you are actually looking for in a relationship. Biblical standards are healthy expectations rooted in God's Word, character, faithfulness and mutual responsibility. Unrealistic expectations, however, demand perfection, constant validation, financial security, emotional fulfillment or a particular lifestyle from another person. Matthew 6:33 reminds us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Your relationship should complement your walk with God, not replace it. How do you know when expectations have become entitlement? Entitlement says, “Because you love me, you must always understand me, provide for me, agree with me, make me happy and meet all my needs.” Healthy love says, “I will honor you, communicate hon...

You might not agree with me when I say you don't need a partner yet because of your hunger to love and be loved but read carefully. You don't need a partner yet because you are still bleeding from the past hurt and disappointment. You might argue with me but here is what I call healing; healing is when you remember what happened and its not longer affecting your mood or dictating how you treat other people. So, with what you have read, have you healed? This is the reason why you are struggling in relationship because you keep treating everyone coming your way like the people that hurt you in your past. Every body is not like your ex lover or ex spouse. Every man is not like your dad that gave up on you. Every man is not like your mum that gave up on you. You need to reconcile with your past and see the pain as an event and not a life sentence or factor that will control your present and future. You don't need a partner yet because of your low self esteem. You keep feeling l...

Before you enter a relationship, you must be honest about the condition of your heart. Many singles desire love while carrying wounds they have never confronted. Childhood rejection, abandonment, betrayal, harsh words, broken family experiences, unhealthy relationships and repeated disappointments can shape the way you see yourself and interpret the actions of others. Sometimes what you call love is actually a desire to escape loneliness, insecurity or emotional pain. Yet Scripture reminds you that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Healing must become part of your preparation for healthy love. Unresolved wounds can affect how you communicate, trust, receive affection and respond to conflict. You may become overly suspicious because someone betrayed you before, excessively controlling because you fear abandonment, emotionally distant because vulnerability once hurt you, or desperate for constant reassurance because rejection d...

Have you ever wondered why God asks you to wait for marriage? Does waiting feel like a burden, or do you see it as God's loving preparation for your future? In a culture that encourages instant gratification, God's Word calls singles to a higher standard of holiness and self control. Hebrews 13:4 declares, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (KJV). This reminds us that sexual intimacy is God's gift for the covenant of marriage, not something to be experienced outside of it. Waiting is not about missing out on life. It is about honoring the One who designed love, purity and marriage. Many people ask, "If we truly love each other, why should we wait?" The better question is, "Does genuine love honor God's commands?" Love that is led by Christ is patient, self controlled and willing to sacrifice temporary desires for eternal blessings. Waiting protects your heart, strengthens y...