*What you Should Talk about during Courtship*
Effective communication and studying your partner is the key you must have for you to know his/her love language I'll always be grateful for the life of Late Pst Bimbo Odukoya, her messages on courtship and marriage is still relevant and very much effective even till now Youths need to get that message on things to talk about before getting married, i believe we'll learn something form this. Have you talked about:
1. background
2. Do's and dont's
3. Weaknesses: e.g. snoring, eating habit e.t.c
4. Formal education: to what level?
5. Verbal skills: how does he/she talks
6. Expected roles of both individuals in the marriage: His roles as husband and father and her roles as wife mother of your children
7. Love and respect: to what extent does she respect or submit to you as her husband, and to what extent does he loves you as his wife. 8. Number of children
9. type of family planning
10. Gap between children
11. Child rearing view
12. Mental, social, psychological, spiritual, philosophy of life
13. Ways of dealing with issues
14. Talk about smoking, drinking, alcohol and coming home late
15. Night journey
16. involvement of in- laws and parental influence
17. Sense of humour: are you a person that doesn't laugh or joke, just study and pray every minute? talk about it now
18.Punctuality
19.Dependability: to what extent can you depend on him/her? some men will say," she depend on me for everything, she doesn't have goals or visions" talk about it now
20. Verbal intimacy: freedom of expressing feelings
21. Home conflict and management
22. Anger management: some spouse will say" whenever I'm in rage or angry, the only person that can calm me down is my mother or someone else" some will say " leave me for sometime and I will get over it" Talk about it
23. Fear and anxiety
24. Friendship with opposite sex: don't hand shake or hug any other man when I'm around etc talk about now
25. Family friends: who and who do you want as family friends? what caliber of people?
26. Personal friends
27. Level of ambition
28. personal goals and achievements
29. corporate life goals and achievements
30. Attitude towards weight: many ladies are slim before marriage but fat after marriage. if you are a type that likes slim lady, look at her mother if she has, because, she's likely to look like her mother later in life. For men , spot belly etc. Talk about it now..
31. Religion belief and spiritual preference
32. Church denomination: is it her church you will be attending after wedding or his?
33. church involvement
34. hobbies and interests
35. songs and music
36. Values and goals
37. self control: does he have problem with women?
38. Past life
39.Amount of income to spend and save
40. House wife or career woman
41. Type of account
42. What percentage should be allocated to cloths, vacations, given away and to whom?
43. Means and risk of investment
44. Attitude about cleanliness
45. Location: where to settle, geographical, commercial, spiritual, and social area to live
46. Order of priority: house before car or vice- versa
47. Size and style of house: bungalow, upstairs, flat, duplex, fenced or open house. Talk about it now!
48. Ways of handling sickness: are you the type that if somebody vomit around you or see blood, you will run away
49. Means of getting treatment: is it private hospital, or teaching hospital, or tradomedical center?
50. Payment of school fees
51. Children's schooling: private and public
52. Health standard: are you the type that uses the drug or faith? Talk about it
53. Interpersonal and social skills: does your spouse have caucus, caliber, or levels? Does he/she have pride or look down on people?
54. Stinginess
55. House helpers: maid, Gardner, gateman, driver, dry cleaner, house cleaner etc
56. Nature of food: only African food or continental or mixed
57. Mode of sleeping: together or separately
58. Mattress: water bed, mat etc
59. Sexual intimacy
60. sexual intercourse during pregnancy
61. types of furniture and interior decorations
62. Jewelries
63. types of cloth to be wearing
64. Day or days of fasting in a week
65. Amount and type of travel prefer: is it every vacation or yuletide period? is it by flight, land etc
66. Time to be spent together: some couples live away from each other throughout their lives, as a result of job etc
67. When to go to bed and when to wake up
68. Time for family altar
69. Test on genotype, HIV/AIDS, blood group etc
70. Intelligent decision
71. Nature of hair do: plaiting, weaving, curling, wig etc
72. Make up: use of earring, lipstick, cosmetics pedicure etc
73. Temperament So many young people are making excuses for their shortcomings in courtship, that, they don't know what to talk about. And, as a result of that, the only thing that is available to do is sex, which can damage their marital pursuit.
All we have mentioned above are not a day talk; neither a month nor a year talk. They are something you can talk and talk until your mind is clear.
So many marriages are having problems today because they fail to talk the right thing while in courtship. They substitute their talking period for sex and other related acts.
FEWER PROBLEMS YOU WILL HAVE IN MARRIAGE IF YOU HAVE QUALITY TALKING IN COURTSHIP. IT IS NOT TIME FOR MARRIAGE It is not time for marriage until you are satisfied with every talking, until your eyes can see clearly the bottom of the water, until you have guarantee of your second life ( marriage).
You can save yourself from fruitless race in marriage now that you are not bonded with marital vows.
You don't have to join the queue of failing marriages. Marriage is sweet and marriage is bitter base on your own experience and content of your discussion while in courtship.
Talk about it now! TALK ABOUT JESUS How much of Jesus do you discuss in your courtship? He is the only One that can guarantee your heart desire in marriage. This is the best time for you and your spouse to join hands together and talk to JESUS; He's ever ready to listen to you. How can you do that? Continued fellowship with him.
Shalom
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