Courtship is not a casual stage you enter into simply because you feel a strong attraction to someone. Attraction can be powerful, but it is not enough to sustain a relationship that is leading toward marriage. Courtship is a private and intentional phase where two people seriously consider if they are truly compatible for a lifelong union. It goes beyond feelings; it demands clarity of purpose, mutual values, and the maturity to see beyond the excitement of new love. Rushing into courtship because of feelings alone is like building a house on sand—it may look fine at first, but it won’t withstand the test of time.
Before stepping into courtship, it is vital to know and understand the person you are dating. Dating is the phase for observation, conversation, and learning about each other’s priorities, vision, and character. It’s where you ask questions and pay attention to how they treat others, how they handle challenges, and what they truly believe in. It is unwise to enter courtship without a deep knowledge of who they are because marriage is not a place for experiments. Understanding comes from intentional time spent together in healthy boundaries, not from assumptions or mere feelings.
Many people assume that because they have prayed or because their family, pastor, or community approves, that is enough reason to step into courtship. While prayers and counsel are very important, they should not replace personal responsibility. You need knowledge—about the person, their background, their values, and their emotional patterns—to make a wise decision. Pastoral support can guide you, but it cannot live with you in the marriage; you will. So, take ownership of knowing and understanding this person for yourself instead of leaning on external approval alone.
Ultimately, courtship should be a decision backed by knowledge, understanding, and discernment, not just emotions or external pressure. It is better to delay courtship and be sure than to rush in and regret later. Think of courtship as stepping into a private space reserved for someone you can see yourself building a future with, not a place you casually offer because of temporary attraction. When approached with wisdom and patience, courtship becomes a safe and sacred journey that prepares you both for a marriage built on truth, trust, and shared purpose.
Prince Victor Matthew
Hope Expression Values You
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